And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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