I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
The power of my boobs compel you
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize