guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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