we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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