Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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