So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
