she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
