we have officially lost it.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
