does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
