Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
