he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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