Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
