i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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