hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
