You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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