lets start a swedish sibling band together
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
