What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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