I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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