Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
