U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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