how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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