before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
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