I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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