I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
