I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
