Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
she told me i tasted like america
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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