I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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