Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
