THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
