perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
