you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
