im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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