Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
