Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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