my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
