Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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