before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Actions speak louder than pants.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
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