I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
