She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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