How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
