If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
