but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
