You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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