So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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