I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
