Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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