I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize