Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
