she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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