no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I wish life had little blips of pornography
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
