I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Randomize
