I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
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