He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
