He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
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