Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
