So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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