I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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