Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
