I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
